That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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