It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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