I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
