i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize