I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize