I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you traded sex for a burrito?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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