Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
