New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize