just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
