i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
