So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
