oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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