she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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