We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
