i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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