I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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