I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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