Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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