how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
