All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
