so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
