hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
