He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
