he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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