I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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