So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
zippers are such a cool invention
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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