i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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