this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Panties = found
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