i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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