I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
