Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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