More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
