my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
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Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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