what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
