If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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