I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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