My first STD was from a foam party
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize