i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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