Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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