Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
