Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
