Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
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Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
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I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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