I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
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How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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