i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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