But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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