Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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