at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
