I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
