Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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