So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
