remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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