im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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