Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
