What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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