The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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